Gay Adult Blog

Planter’s Peanuts meets Planting Penis in Mixed Nuts 3.  I am sooo funny and witty that my oral abilities shine in more ways than you think…anyways on with the show.  Mixed Nuts 3 is inter-racial finery and debauchery and covers a wider range of skin-tones than most inter-racial movies out there.  Personally I like my meat either white or dark, but I guess to the makers of this movie things aren’t always just black and white.  In Mixed Nuts 3, you also get off-white and dusky…I’m assuming these yummy guys are Latin and either Native or Asian….almond chicken I guess would be the flavour of the day for this gay.  Anyways honey you get the picture…just like a rainbow this movie is a mix of colors.

While this was not one of the most spectacularly exciting movies I’ve reviewed the size of the packages some of these guys are packing makes it worth the time watching anyways and it certainly cleanses the white guilt of history from your soul when you see how savagely the young black stud feeds his cock to…then skullfucks and finishes up with a deep ass fucking and deposits a HUGE creamy load all over this tight white guy’s ass…zulu war staff indeed.  Mixed Nuts 3 is enough of a mixed bag that there is something in it for everyone and gets ribbons of raunchiness for it’s randy rectum wrecking.

Halloween is one of my favorite Holidays…as soon as October starts I get all shivery knowing that it’s coming…you could say it coming almost gets me coming.  Why is Halloween so exciting you ask ?  Well because you can really let your freak flag fly honey and dress up as whatever you want.  Thats why when I see movies like Mud On the Helmet it makes me even more envious than when watching other porn.  Sure I’m always a little jealous when I get to see the yummy cocks these actors get day after day but this one…..they also get to dress up as the most macho of macho stud beefcakes…soldiers.  Go Go G.I. Joe.

Sadly the unifromed chemistry between these cumbatants was nothing too exciting and I quite frankly figure that considering they got to dress up they should have tried to role play at least a little harder.  I mean seriously they don’t even try to be butch.  If I got to dress up as a Sergeant I would be ordering those privates to tongue polish my privates to a spit-shine.  The sex itself though was Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.  Each scene had seriously deep ass tunneling as these guys plunged their rods balldeep and the cumshots were prodigous enough to give my tongue a craving for the taste of nuts and honey.  Three semi-excited swishing salutes to Mud On the Helmet.  (Next time get some butch soldiers)

First of all I have to ask what is up with the idea of soccer being played indoors in a gymnasium?  Even those silly speaking English people play their soccer outside, even though the weather there is wet enough to prune even the largest cock.  Also even though I don’t play soccer, or like it, I do know that the players are supposed to wear high cut floppy shorts with nothing to hold their cocks so that we can see their package swinging when they run down the field.  Obviously these guys either didn’t know that, or were just too rude to give us more of a show than just the short sex scenes that they delivered.

That’s right, I said short sex-scenes.  This whole movie is under half an hour long…that’s right, your average Simpsons, Family Guy, or South Park episode is actually longer than this whole porn movie.  Oh well you think, maybe the guys are total studmuffins with buns perfect for buttering and battering and huge cocks that will make you gasp in surprise and desire.  Well, stop thinking that way; the guys in Playin With The Coach’s Balls are average package size at best and the sex that they have is rushed, and feels very awkward.  I have reviewed a lot of good movies that are guaranteed hot jack-off material, and some that are not as good.  But never have I reviewed anything as poorly done as this one.  The only benefit I see to this movie is, if you have a short attention span at least it’s a short movie.

Now honey, even though a lot of churches have opened their minds enough to open their doors to us I’m still not really a church-goer, but I do like to sing the Hallelujah chorus at Christmas, especially the part where you go “Glooo-oooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooria”…it always sends such a tingle up my spine cos it makes me think of Glory holes and our sexy savior Jesus spending time on his knees with his Apostles…I mean, trim that beard, put that long hair in a ponytail and that’s a savior I would savour.  Well this is a movie all about those glorious places called glory holes and the fun that some young dudes can get up to in such a place.

There is something primally exciting about a group of men together with sweat glistening on their muscles, grunting away and hearing that slap of skin on skin action…this is probably the same excitement that leads even straight men to go watching each other in professional sports.  While the glory hole action itself is super-hot, watching these guys gobble each other’s cocks with the same intensity that a man in the desert would go for water, the movie itself does not limit itself with just the gloryhole aspect but as advertised, also delivers gangbang after gangbang showing that not only are these glorious sluts anxious to have their mouth filled with cocks, but they also crave it in their asses just as much.  Glory Hole Gang Bang 2 was very exciting and kept me rock-hard with an intense enough orgasm that I recommend it to everyone, and I can’t wait to get to see more of this series.

First let me say that I felt very hurt and betrayed by this movie when it started because when I first saw the title, Measure For Measure, I automatically thought ‘Mmmm, footlong hotdogs for dinner tonight.’  Imagine my distress when I realized that the measurements weren’t about the things that really mattered and instead was just some cheap lying bastard publicist thinking that using alliteration was fine even if it misled me, and I’m sure many others into watching this movie.  Secondly let me say I came twice watching this movie and it was fucking hot.

These muscley macho men got my masturbation muscle working, and even though I had been deceived in thinking it was about huge cocks, each and every guy in this movie at least has a package he can be proud of, and certainly a package I would like delivered on my doorstep.  The intensity of some of the sucking and fucking was totally off the scale…you could literally see the set around the actors shaking in rhythm with some of the pounding thrusts.  Copious cum shots in each scene (they left me craving a McDonald’s extra thick vanilla shake) gave the afterburn to already sizzling scenes and I giveMeasure For Measure six excited swishes.

Like most things made in Eastern Europe Guess Who’s Cumming At Dinner needs a lot of work…ok sure from what I’ve seen of Euro porn, they have a lot of nice uncut cock but nothing super large to get me all jumping up and down about in this movie anyways.  Also what is with all these Euro guys looking like they are from Transylvania ?  Does nowhere in Eastern Europe get any sunshine ?  Cmon boys get out there and get some rays and a bit of color so you look alive instead of like an attendee at a Gay Necrophilia Convention.  Well enough picking apart these cumming commies and on with the show…

Guess Who’s Cumming At Dinner shows us that when our rainbow brethren  were set free from the Iron Curtain, they went a step further and also set themselves free from the iron closet.  Now honey, when it comes to entertainment my motto is make it American  and that will make it good.    This movie is proof that regardless of how sexually liberated Eastern Europe is becoming, the porn makers should stay in the US of A, or at least go no further than Sweden.  After all, the one thing I expected to see if I’m watching a porn called Guess Who’s Cumming At Dinner, is a black guy…I guess even with liberation a dumb commie is still a dumb commie, and they probably made the title just based on the word ‘coming’.  The sex was very average and mediocre.  Personally I advise picking something else and staying away from Russian made movies.  Not even one excited swish of arousal for Guess Who’s Cumming At Dinner.

We have been neglected and ostracized for so long and even when we come out of the closet society still tries to push us back in.  That sounds like Im complaining doesn’t it ?  Well believe me honey I’m NOT !  If there’s one thing that people say about me it’s that I always view the condom as half full instead of half empty.  You see Hollywood has neglected us and there are soooo very few stories out there that are well done dealing with the intricacies and emotions involved in a love affair between two or more men…showing people that yes, we are gay and we are proud and unless we adopt we can’t have children but we ARE capable of love.  Sooooo what do we have to watch if we want to watch a story of true intimacy between two men ?  Wheeeeeee ! Gay Porn.  That’s right, society being so straight and paranoid has made it so we get to watch more porn that straights and romance movies that show more physical loving taking place than those ‘normal’ people get to see in their boring girl-romance movies.  A Love Story totally demonstrates this crossing of romance and raunch I’m talking about and if your guy wants some depth to his love-movie and you want to see some deep action as well then this is a flick for you guys.

If you’re looking for a story like this for you and your guy, A Love Story has something for both of you; the tension of the two main characters bickering, the drama of love lost and sought after, a very hot metaphysical approach to the theories of past lives, and of course the joy and rapture of refound love…throw in some hot lean muscley stud sex and if only the acting were worthwhile you would have an Academy Award winning movie.  So a bunch of swishes of love to A Love Story, and remember next time you feel there aren’t enough movies in Hollywood for us, just view it as an excuse to watch some porn.

Now I haven’t seen the first edition of this series, but I’ve heard rave reviews about it and so I decided to take a stroll through the woods to find me some bears by watching Hairassment 2.   This movie was shorter than I like (and I like them big and long honey) but the action was filled with eroticism and sensuality.  In the first scene we get treated to a steamy office environment where it doesn’t take much persuasion for both these studly guys to strip down naked and enjoy their manly pleasures together.  Wild cock sucking and ass rimming are followed by some incredibly sensitive fuck scenes that made me wish I worked with these two hungry bears.

The second scene is so naughty it’s thrilling….taking place in the bathroom of course, where the pheromones fill the air and these two horny male specimens get down on their knees to service each other.  The visual effects created by the mirrors was very nicely done and added to the overall eroticism and heat factor of Hairassment 2.   Of course they save it all up for the final scene where we get treated to a vanilla-chocolate protein shake of extraordinary proportions when this big black stud waves his huge cock in front of his bearcub partner only to see it devoured faster than a dozen donuts at a police rally.  The heat is all over this movie and kept my lovebundle bouncing away the whole time, the oral, the anal, it will get inside your skin and make you feel your orgasm even more intensely. After seeing Hairassment 2 I know I have to make a date to watch Hairassment.  A fabulous six sexy swishes and one comb-through for Hairassment 2.

Now you know how I loves me some of those hot cream-filled twinkies…well Four Play is like an answer to my prayers with it’s hot twinkie studs, huge throbbing meatsticks and oh so hungry and experienced pouty mouths that will devour your cock til you add some of your own creamy filling to the mix.  So Four Play has five incredibly sexy scenes that kept my dingle twilling the whole time, and yes, guilty as charged!… my creamy filling ended up all over my tummy more than once!

Now though the sex was definitely hotter than a steamy San Francisco summer day, but I must say I was incredibly disappointed by the implication of the title.  I thought I was going to be watching groups of hot twinkie studs banging each other train-style or orgy-style, but sadly all there seemed to be were one-on-one scenes, though there were four of them, so perhaps that’s where the silly producers got their title, Four Play, from.  Each of these four scenes delivers hungry cock sluts enjoying the treasures they find inside each others pants (and honey, these studs are packing heat!), fantastic fellatio scenes, anal plunging that sent shivers of lust down my spine at the thought of taking something so long and large in my own hungry hole.  Four Play certainly gave me heat, but I was left a little chilled by the lack of group scenes, so I can only swish half-heartedly three times with a little butt wiggle added on for some incredible cumshots.

My friend Shemar came by yesterday and ohhh he was soooo excited because he had won some tickets from the radio station for a special premier to the new batman movie.  Now Shemar and I don’t read comics and otherwise except for when cute Val Kilmer played him (shame he isn’t so cute now) but we do love to let our eyes linger on that yummy Christian Bale…(now that is a christian that can baptise my head anytime) and of course he is in it.  So once our excitement at winning and getting to go see Christian before any of our friends could we got ready, grabbed dinner and headed to the show…My opinion of Batman ?  Haaaated it…first Christian spent way too much time in that ugly black/grey suit and it was so padded that we didn’t get to see his lean muscled physique.  That girl just kept appearing and wrecking scene after scene and even the yummy looking DA who sure looked like he buttered his buns the same way I do was also portrayed as a straight and poor Christian got hit and kicked and shot at and explosions hurting him…It was traumatic watching it and crying out “watch out christian watch out” as we had to watch his pretty face get marred  Sooo for any of you who were thinking about going to Batman…don’t bother instead relax, sit back and instead enjoy Black Power and watch a Real Dark Knight wield his lance the way they should have let yummy Christian show off his. (god I hate how movies cater to the straight audiences)

There is just something about a lean ebony black man gleaming as the light hits his skin that gets my skin on fire and my semen swimming.  The way the muscular definition is soooo defined mmmm.  The dusky demigod superhunks in Black Power are a perfect example of this.  As soon as I saw their muscled obsidian muscles flexing I literally gasped in pleasure and my eyes were riveted to the screen and my hand was riveted around my cock.  It’s times like that I wish I had lived 150 years ago and owned some black slaves….I would have been very nice to them and their only rule is that they had to stay naked and no women allowed.  No whips unless thats what they are into.  The action itself in this movie showed that things can also be fun if you put an ebony giant or two in charge of an eager to please young white guy whose ass they owned thoroughly.  The biggest highlight of Black Power is the bright sunshine in the last two scenes.  Why would sunshine be such a hot thing in a movie you wonder…well silly nilly use your noodle and not the one between your legs…the sun makes the ebony highlights and dusky shadows of the skin stand out more bringing the full muscley form of these hunks to full profile…and the way it contrasts with that creamy white skin when they press against each other…this is eroticism at its finest.  Sooo this coming weekend remember, make your dark knight viewing the one you’ll really enjoy instead of watching yummy Christian run around in leather that doesn’t even leave his butt cheeks showing.